Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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