i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
