I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
