You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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