And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize