He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
