i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
