at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Houston, we have a blender
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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