I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
