I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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