Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
