on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
