I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
