omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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