Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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