Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
