if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
