just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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