do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize