I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
two words...techno handjob
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize