You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
