porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
