Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
