haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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