Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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