Can i not drive my cunt home
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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