there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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