Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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