I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am available for nakedness
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