so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
