good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
