Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
