I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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