Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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