By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
