my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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