The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
vagina is talking i cant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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