p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
