Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
