He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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