We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
