If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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