can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
