i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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