the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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