so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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