i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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