I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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