I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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