Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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