I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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