I wannas sexs uuuuu
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
