Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
