im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smell my finger.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize