I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
